Grave Marked Christopher
Chapman
Chapter One
Dream State
It's late. Much later than what I had thought. This could be the
reason why the streets were empty of all life, with the exception of
the 'lost souls' that wandered the streets at night looking for
something, anything to make them feel alive. I keep my head down, so
that they don't think I'm looking for something I'm not. That's all
it takes, isn't it? A glance, and they come at you like vultures to a
carcass. A shiver runs down my spine as I think about it, just
keep walking Ethan, I think to myself. The sooner I get off these
streets, the better. Just a few more blocks and you're where you need
to be, in the safety of a place you could have called home.
No need to knock, I know I'm always welcome here, as long as Matilda
is home. I haven't known her for long, but she is the only person
that I can truly call my friend. I head up the stairs and to her
bedroom, it's the only place she feels safe, in her mothers house. I
stand there in the door way, and I watch her as she's working on
something at her desk, probably tomorrows homework. She always did
wait for the last minute to get it done. She crumpled up the paper
and threw it to the waste bin that barely four feet away, and missed.
And the reason she didn't play sports. She glanced over her shoulder
at me, and I smiled. She didn't do or say anything to acknowledge my
presence, she just went back to the new blank piece of paper in front
of her.
After several long minutes she got up from the desk and walked over
to her bed, taking the piece of paper with her. She placed it on the
bedside table and took a few sleeping pills. Everyone knew that
Matilda had problems sleeping, because her mother would stay up all
night crying about her father. Her father had died over in Iraq,
there was nothing left of the body to ship back, so Maria- Matildas
mother- had buried an empty casket. She set the glass down and
crawled into bed, pulling the covers up, just about over her head.
She looked so small in the large bed. She looked to the ceiling and I
swore I saw a tear glide down her cheek. I open my mouth to say
something, anything, but no sound comes out. She looks to me, sadness
filling up the bright green eyes that I used to know and whispers
faintly so I barely hear what she says.
“I'm sorry, Ethan.” Another tear slowly makes its way down to
her pillow. Sorry? Sorry for what? There is no reason for her to be
apologizing to me, she never did anything wrong. Confusion runs
through me, as I replay the past few days, trying to find a reason
for this, but I come up blank. Nothing. No reason for this madness.
“What are you apologizing for?” I ask, my voice sounding
distant. Another chill runs down my spine and Matildas eyes flicker
something more than sadness. She turns over and pulls the covers up
over her head, ignoring the question I had asked.
“Fine, I know when I'm not wanted.” I say, pain in my voice.
“You should be sorry Matilda. You've never once shut me out before,
why start now?” I turn and storm from her bedroom, I make my way
back down the stairs and out the door.
The nights have grown shorter now that winter is no longer on us.
Summer has taken over, and the cool summer nights are what I live
for. To sit down by the river and watch the days go by, peaceful and
satisfying. And that is just what I do, I head down to my favorite
spot by the river and I lay there, thinking. Is there really a reason
for Matilda to be acting the way she was, and if so, what is the
reason?
I jerk upright, breathing heavily and soaked to the bone. Was it
all just a dream, I think to myself. I climb out of my bed and
rush over to my phone. No messages. That's strange, Matilda is always
awake before I am and she always sends me a 'Good Morning' message to
make sure I'm having a good day. I sent her a quick message, and wait
for a response. After waiting for two minutes I hit speed dial one.
It rings, and rings.
“Hello, you've reached Matildas voice mail. I'm currently unable
to come to the phone, probably for many reasons, so leave me your
name and number and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as I possibly can.” Her voice smiles into my ear.
“Maddie, it's Ethan” I practically yell into my phone. “Call
me, or message me as soon as you get this. Please!” I put the phone
down and glance over at the mirror that hangs on the back side of my
door. My hair is stuck to my face and neck with sweat, and the bags
under my eyes are ridiculous. It looks like I haven't showered or
slept in a few days. I peel off my soaked clothes and grab the towel
that hangs on the back of my computer chair. Opening the door a crack
and peeking out to make sure that my room mate is not in the hallway,
it looks clear so I make my way out while holding the towel in front
of me, to give myself some sense of decency. I make it to the
bathroom and close just in time to hear the turning of the lock of
the main door.
“Hey dude, are you up yet?” my room mate yells from the front
door. “You know if you're late once more for school, they're going
to have to send you to detention, or something.” I hear him drop
the keys onto the side table that we have near the door. I lean on
the bathroom door and run my fingers through my hair.
“Yes Marcus, I'm up and about to get into the shower.” I yell
back “Thank you for being so fatherly, I should be able to get to
school on time today.” I crank the hot water and the bathroom
steams up almost instantly. I pull back the shower curtain and climb
under the water. It burns as it pelts the back of my neck. The door
clicks, and a gust of cool air is forced into the heat of the
bathroom.
“Sorry dude,” Marcus apologizes, while laughing “I really had
to take a leak, and I didn't know how long you were going to
take.”This is nothing new to me, he does this more than not. It
seems every time I am in the shower, he needs to use the bathroom. He
finished up, flushed and washes his hands. My hot water turns ice
cold and I let out a yelp while trying to get out from under it
before the chill goes to my bones. He bursts out in laughter and
rushes out of the bathroom before any profanity comes from my mouth.
“Asshole!” I yell after him. After several more minutes under
the the comfort of the water, I turn it off and grab for my towel,
only it's not where I set it down. I pull open the curtain and
prepare for the blast of cold air that rushes over every inch of my
naked, wet body. I quickly scan the floor, and my towel is no where
to be seen.
“Marcus!” I shout, while climbing out of the bathtub. The roar
of laughter makes its way up the stairs and to the bathroom. I glance
to the left and see that there is a note marked into the fogged up
mirror. Ethan, I'm sorry. -M. My heart drops into my stomach,
and I rush out of the bathroom and to my bedroom. My phone is
blinking at me. I have a message. I grab it and flip to my messages.
None of them are from Matilda, they're all from my mother. I put my
phone down and go to grab another towel from the closet. I glance to
the pictures that I have tacked up on my wall. Pictures of Maddie and
myself. She's my only real friend, nobody understands me the way she
does.
I pick up my phone again and shoot her another message. I might
as well check the message that mum sent, I think to myself. It's
been far too long since I've talked to her, it'll be nice to hear her
voice.
Ethan, I know you don't like people calling you, and that is why
I'm sending you this text message. Please call me when you read this.
It's urgent!
I read the message twice before I start to debate if it's as urgent
as what she thinks it is. Should I call her now, or could it wait
until I am home from school? I punch in her number and listen to the
phone ring in my ear. Two rings. Three rings.
“Hello?” my mothers voice whispers into my ear.
“Hey mum, it's Ethan,” I state, remembering that she doesn't
have caller ID.
“Oh Ethan,” She cries. The sound of a chair screeching as it's
dragged across the floor. She sighs as she takes a seat “I'm so
sorry.”
“Mum?” I ask, glancing towards the door to my bedroom. The
fogged up mirror flashes in my
mind. “What's going on?” I bark at my phone. I hear my mother sob
on the other line, I've never seen my mother cry. She was always a
rock in any situation that brought tears to everyone around her. She
would be that shoulder of support, but here she was, crying. I didn't
know what to do, or say. “I'm sorry mum, I didn't mean to make you
cry.” I whisper, tears forming in my own eyes. “It's just been a
really weird day."
“It's about Matilda,” she says in between sobs. “She killed
herself last night.”
Silence. My mind goes blank. Unable to think. Unable to respond. I
hang up and toss my phone to the bed. I look around, and everything
seems out of place. The vivid colors of life have seemed to fade into
shades of gray. The dream replays over in my mind, and then I see
the mirror, again. I look down at my hands, but all I see is the
floor rushing up to me.
Love it.
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